3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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