one two three fourrrrnication!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
