Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
