I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
