I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
