Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
