That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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