i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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