Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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