Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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