i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
