After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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