Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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