I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
