thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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