Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
