i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The air was thick with penises
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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