Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so let's talk penis.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
