idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
