dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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