get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
