Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
