Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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