I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Why is there bacon in the couch?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
