My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
