i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
