This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
