I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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