when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
