My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
