i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
