Yo dont text me then not text me
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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