she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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