I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
