By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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