Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
