i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
