I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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