"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
