I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
