I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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