I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
only you would photoshop your dick
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
