I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
