I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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