Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Actions speak louder than pants.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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