Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
