plz talk dirty to me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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