I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
