Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
that's an acceptable place to lick
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
