He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
